I remember when I first became a Christ follower. Everything was new. There was a reborn life within me that oozed an attitude of being able to conquer the world with love. This contagious manner was embraced by many just from what was going on inside of me. People saw a difference and wanted what I had. I evaporated God's Word as a thirsty sponge absorbs water. I prepared myself before every service, anticipating God's presence through worship. I would rise earlier than my "normal - early" and found myself staying up later, just to meet with Him. I had an insatiable desire to know Jesus more. Many were affected by the animation that was witnessed through my new life.
Presently, I ask myself, "What happened? Is it possible that people can still see Jesus just by observing my manner?"
We know, as in a marriage relationship, that the honeymoon period doesn't last forever; if it did, we'd get nothing else done. We would spend all of our time on ourselves. It would be a very "us" world. But, we live in a very "others" world, where our mission is to share our lives with those around us. Just as a marriage relationship transforms into a deeper understanding of our partner, so do we grow deeper in Christ, resulting in being more others-oriented. Our relationship matures. We may not be as expressive as when we first believed, but if we are spiritually healthy, we will produce a deeper love, real joy, profound peace, patience produced from self-control, kindness, gentleness and goodness toward others, and a multiplied amount of faith. I didn't posses these fruits when I began this journey.
So, I came to the conclusion that I am not as exuberant on the surface as when I began, but inside I am able to understand and genuinely love others with a strength that I know I can't produce on my own. I still expectantly prepare my soul for worship gatherings. I anticipate God to speak every time we come together. I hunger to be with like-minded people. God's Word is still my love letter. I admit, there are times when I get distracted and give Him second place after my schedule, a dead line, my own time or an array of other pulls that tug at me. I lose my fervor for Him and notice that the urgency has dimmed. That's when I stop and ask forgiveness. I pray that He brings me back to my first love -
...... and He always does-
.............He always will.
What a beautiful sharing of your journey with your "First Love...God." I remember those feelings too. It was a glorious feeling. I felt embraced in His love, safe, hopeful, but most of all forgiven in a way that no earthly first love can provide. I became so wrapped up in the moment and the feelings that without even being aware I soon forgot that this special "first love" was meant to be shared. I also learned that without a true relationship with Him I couldn't experience His power and greatness nor begin to discover His purpose for me. Thank you for reminding me that Godly love isn't just something that "happens to us", but what happens "through us."
ReplyDeleteGood insight. I love how honest, authentic, open and bold you are with sharing your faith story of where you've been and where God is and is taking, leading you. You are truly giving and bring others of us hope. I am blessed by this and your ministry and your love and friendship. And Yes God is our 1st and greatest love, always. So beautiful your words. I think I can relate, too. We are all a work in progress. This takes true maturity to admit and great desire and devotion on your part. thank you as always from the bottom of my heart. Great job and keep up writing so we can continue to read and be blessings and encouragement. See ya!!
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